Starting Daycare: How to Prepare Your Child

Starting daycare is a big transition - for both children and parents. With a little preparation, you can make the start safer and easier.

Here you'll find a complete guide with a preparation timeline, step-by-step settling-in process, packing list, and help with separation anxiety.

Preparation Timeline: From 3 Months to Day 1

3 Months Before Daycare Starts

• Visit the daycare - Most centers offer open house days. Bring your child so they can see the space, the playground, and meet some of the staff.
• Read books about daycare - Picture books about starting daycare make the topic familiar. Look for age-appropriate titles at your library or bookstore.
• Talk positively about daycare - Mention it in everyday conversation: "Soon you'll get to play with other kids at daycare." Avoid negatively charged language.

1 Month Before Daycare Starts

• Practice routines - Daycare has set schedules. Practice getting up, eating breakfast, and getting dressed at roughly the same time each day. This makes the transition easier.
• Practice short goodbyes - Let your child stay with grandparents, friends, or a babysitter for short periods. Show them you always come back.
• Prepare the wardrobe and gear - Buy clothes and gear from the packing list. Label everything with your child's name.
• Talk to the daycare - Call the lead teacher and clarify the settling-in plan, daily routines, and any special needs.

1 Week Before Daycare Starts

• Pack the backpack together - Let your child help pack. Choose a stuffed animal or comfort blanket to bring along.
• Establish the morning routine - Wake up at "daycare time" and run through the morning routine. Your child will recognize it on day 1.
• Visit the outdoor area - Go to the daycare and play on the playground. It makes the space familiar and safe.
• Talk about what will happen - Tell your child about the settling-in: "Mom/Dad will be with you at daycare the first few days."

The Day Before

• Lay out clothes - Prepare clothes for the next day. Let your child choose (between two options).
• Pack the backpack - Check that everything is ready: diapers, change of clothes, comfort item, food if needed.
• Early bedtime - Make sure your child is well-rested.

How to Prepare Your Child at Home

Talk About Daycare

Tell them what happens there: play, friends, meals, outdoor time. Use simple words your child understands.

Read books about starting daycare together. It makes the topic familiar and less scary.

Practice Short Goodbyes

Start with short trips without your child - to the store, a coffee shop, a walk around the block. Show them you always come back. Have a set goodbye routine: "Now mommy is leaving. Hug. Bye! Mommy will be right back."

Let Your Child Get Familiar with the Backpack

Pack the backpack together. Let your child choose a stuffed animal or comfort blanket to bring. A "transitional object" provides security in the new situation.

Practice Independence

Daycare requires some independence. Practice:

• Eating with a spoon
• Drinking from a cup
• Putting shoes on and off
• Washing hands
• Expressing needs (thirsty, need the bathroom, tired)

Settling In at Daycare - Step by Step

Most daycare centers have a gradual settling-in process over 3-5 days, but it can take longer.

Days 1-2: Together with Parents

You're at the daycare for the full session (usually 2-3 hours). Your child explores while you're nearby. Let your child set the pace. Get to know the staff and routines.

Tip: Sit down in the room, but encourage your child to explore. Don't pull your child back to you - let them come to you when they need reassurance.

Day 3: First Short Goodbye

You step out for a short time (15-30 minutes) while your child stays. Say goodbye clearly: "Mommy is going out for a quick walk. I'll be right back." Return before your child becomes upset.

Day 4: Longer Goodbye

Extend the absence to 1-2 hours. Your child begins to understand the pattern: you leave, but you always come back.

Day 5+: Gradual Increase

Gradually increase toward a half day, then a full day. Some children are ready for full days after one week. Others need two to three weeks. Let your child's reaction guide the pace.

Tips for a Good Settling-In

• Stay calm and confident - Your child senses your anxiety
• Trust the staff - They have experience with this
• Don't stay too long - A prolonged goodbye makes it harder
• Call to check in - The daycare is happy to give you an update during the day
• Be flexible - Some children need shorter days in the beginning

Handling Separation Anxiety

It's completely normal for your child to cry at goodbye. It doesn't mean they're unhappy - just that the transition is hard. Separation anxiety is a natural part of child development and shows that your child has a secure attachment to you.

Tips for the Goodbye

• Say goodbye clearly - Never sneak out. Your child needs to trust that you tell them when you're leaving
• Keep it short - A prolonged goodbye makes it harder for everyone
• Stay calm and positive - Your child senses if you're unsure
• Have a set routine - Same hug, same phrase every time: "Have a great day! I'll see you after lunch."
• Trust the staff - They have experience with this
• Don't go back - If you return to comfort, the goodbye starts over

Most children calm down within a few minutes after the parent has left.

When Separation Anxiety Persists

Some children need extra time. Talk to the staff about:

• Starting with shorter days
• Having a transitional object (stuffed animal, family photo)
• Extra attention at pickup
• Having a consistent adult who greets the child each morning
• Creating a "goodbye window routine" - waving from the window after the goodbye

Children Who Cry for Extended Periods

If your child is still struggling after 3-4 weeks, discuss it with the teacher. It may be necessary to:

• Do a new settling-in period with a parent present
• Have shorter days for a period
• Evaluate whether the child's needs are being adequately met

Daily Routines at Daycare

Knowing what happens at daycare throughout the day can make the transition easier - for both child and parent.

Typical Daily Schedule

Meals

Most daycare centers serve breakfast, lunch, and a snack. Inform the center about allergies, food intolerances, or special dietary needs.

Sleep and Rest

Children under 3 typically nap during the day at daycare. Inform the center about your child's sleep needs and any sleep aids (pacifier, comfort blanket, specific sleep sack).

What Should You Pack?

Most daycare centers provide a packing list, but here's what's typical:

For the cubby/locker:

• Rain gear (jacket and pants)
• Boots/rubber boots
• Indoor shoes
• Extra changes of clothes (2-3 sets)
• Warm layers for outdoor time (by season)
• Winter coat or snowsuit
• Hat, mittens, and neck warmer

In the backpack:

• Diapers (if your child uses them)
• Comfort blanket or stuffed animal
• Bottle or pacifier if needed
• Sunscreen in summer
• Extra clothes in a bag

Labeling:

• Label EVERYTHING with your child's name
• Use name labels, stamps, or fabric markers
• Label shoes, mittens, and hats too

Sick at Daycare: What Applies?

Children in daycare get sick more often in the first year. This is normal - your child is building their immune system.

When Should Your Child Stay Home?

According to AAP and CDC guidelines:

• Fever - Your child should be fever-free for at least 24 hours without fever-reducing medication before returning
• Vomiting and diarrhea - Stay home until 48 hours after the last episode
• Eye infection with discharge - Stay home until treatment has started
• Rashes - Depends on the cause; talk to your doctor and the daycare

What About Frequent Illness?

It's normal for children in daycare to have 6-10 infections in the first year. It can be frustrating, but it's part of the process. Tips:

• Have a plan for who stays home with a sick child
• Check your employer's policies for family/sick leave
• Parents may be entitled to family medical leave depending on your location

Communication with the Daycare

Good communication with the daycare is essential for your child's wellbeing.

At Startup

• Share your child's routines, habits, and needs
• Inform about allergies, medications, or special considerations
• Share relevant family information (separated parents, siblings, etc.)
• Agree on how you'll communicate daily (app, pickup conversations, email)

In Daily Life

• Ask how your child's day was at pickup
• Share information about changes at home (sleep issues, new sibling, illness)
• Attend parent meetings and conferences
• Give feedback - both positive and concerns

If Something Worries You

Bring it up directly with the lead teacher. Most daycare centers appreciate open communication. Common concerns include:

• Your child seems sad over time
• Conflicts with other children
• Your child won't eat at daycare
• Your child doesn't want to go outside

Common Worries and Solutions

"My child cries every morning"

Normal in the first weeks. Talk to staff about how your child does after you leave. Often they're happy and playing within minutes. If crying continues after 4-6 weeks, talk to the teacher about adjustments.

"My child is exhausted in the evening"

Daycare is intense. New impressions, many children, lots of activity. Expect your child to need extra rest in the beginning. Reduce other activities in the first weeks and let your child have quiet afternoons.

"My child gets sick more often"

Also normal. According to the AAP, 6-10 infections in the first daycare year is typical. The immune system is building up. It gets better after the first year.

"My child doesn't want to go"

Try to talk about what's difficult. Maybe it's a specific situation (conflict with another child, doesn't like the food). Bring it up with the teacher. Focus on the positive: "Who are you going to play with today?"

"My child's behavior has changed at home"

Some children become clingier, develop sleep issues, or become more defiant after starting daycare. This is your child's way of processing new experiences. Provide extra security, keep routines stable, and be patient.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is the settling-in period at daycare?

Usually 3-5 days, but it varies. Some children need up to 2-3 weeks. The daycare should adapt the settling-in to each individual child. Communicate openly with the teacher about your child's needs.

What do I do if my child cries at drop-off?

Say goodbye clearly and briefly. Don't prolong the goodbye. The crying usually stops within a few minutes. The staff take over and comfort your child. Have a consistent routine: hug, goodbye phrase, and leave. Feel free to call the daycare after half an hour for an update.

Should I sneak out?

No, never. Always say goodbye. Your child needs to trust that you tell them when you're leaving - and that you come back. Sneaking out can create anxiety about you suddenly disappearing.

When should I be concerned?

If your child is still struggling after 3-4 weeks, or seems unhappy over time, talk to the teacher. They can help find solutions, like a new settling-in round or shorter days.

Can my child bring a stuffed animal to daycare?

Yes, most daycare centers encourage it, especially at the start. A "transitional object" that smells like home provides comfort in the new situation. Check with the daycare about their routines.

What if my child won't eat at daycare?

It's normal for children to eat less in the first weeks. Talk to the staff, and avoid pressuring your child. Give a little extra food in the morning and afternoon. When your child feels secure, appetite typically returns to normal.

Summary

Starting daycare is a big milestone. With preparation, patience, and good communication with the staff, your child will thrive.

Remember: It's okay to find it difficult - both for you and your child. But it gets better.

Need help with other toddler challenges? Check out our articles on toddler tantrums or potty training.

Read More

• Daycare Preparation Guide - Detailed preparation timeline
• Daycare Illness and Immune System - Understanding daycare bugs

Sources

1. AAP - Starting Child Care
2. Zero to Three - Child Care Transitions
3. CDC - Child Development

Last updated: March 2026