You have been nursing your baby to sleep every single evening for months. You sleep together. It has worked — until now. Maybe you are more tired than before. Maybe the baby is waking more often. Or maybe you are simply ready for a change.

The good news: transitioning from co-sleeping and nursing to sleep to a crib is absolutely possible — without leaving your baby to cry alone. Thousands of parents have done it, and here are the detailed steps that actually work.

This guide is written without judgment toward co-sleeping. Have you been co-sleeping with your baby? Then you have been doing what worked for your family. Now you want a change, and that is completely fine.

Why is the transition difficult?

Your baby has two strong sleep associations: the breast (or bottle) and physical contact with you. Both provide security, warmth, and closeness. When babies wake between sleep cycles (which all babies do 4–6 times per night), they need to find again what was there when they fell asleep.

If your baby fell asleep with the breast in their mouth and your body next to them, they will look for exactly that when they wake at 2am. And 3:30am. And 5am.

The key is to change these sleep associations gradually — not overnight, but over weeks. Your baby needs time to build new, secure habits.

When is your baby ready?

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies sleep in their own safe sleep space in their parents' room for at least the first 6 months. But that does not mean your baby is automatically ready for a change at six months.

Good signs your baby is ready:

Baby is at least 6 months old
Baby is eating solid food during the day (and therefore not dependent on night feeds for nutrition)
Baby can self-soothe a little — sucking on fingers, cuddling a cloth
Baby does not have a fever, teething, or has recently started daycare
You are motivated and have the energy (do not start during an exhausting week)

Wait on the transition if:

Baby is under 6 months
You are in the middle of other big changes (starting daycare, moving, new sibling)
Baby is sick or going through a sleep regression
You or your partner are completely exhausted and do not have the capacity for some hard nights

Night nursing can be important for milk supply, especially during the first 6 months. Cutting night feeds abruptly can affect your milk production. If you are still breastfeeding, it is recommended to gradually reduce night nursing in parallel with the sleep transition.

The full plan: Four phases over 2–4 weeks

Here is the detailed plan that many parents have used successfully. Take it at your own pace — some use two weeks, others four.

Phase 1: Preparation (days 1–3)

Before changing anything, prepare the sleep space and establish a foundation.

Set up a crib or bedside bassinet:

Place the crib right next to your bed — ideally a bedside sleeper with an open side
Put your baby's bedding in your bed for a few nights so it smells like you
Let your baby play in and explore the crib during the day (not only at night)
Place a comfort item — cloth, pacifier, or lovey — in the crib

Establish a consistent bedtime routine:

Start the bedtime routine at the same time every day (e.g., 7pm)
The routine might be: bath/wash, pajamas, calm time in living room, nursing, book/song, put down
Separate nursing from falling asleep in time — finish nursing BEFORE going to the bedroom
Important: the routine should be the same every single evening

Begin noticing your baby's sleep cues:

Rubbing eyes, pulling ears, looking away, yawning
Put the baby down when drowsy but still awake — not fully asleep

Phase 2: Separate nursing from falling asleep (days 4–10)

This is the most important step. The goal is that your baby no longer falls asleep at the breast.

Evenings 1–3: Nurse, then closeness

Nurse in the living room or a room other than the bedroom
When baby is full and drowsy (but not asleep), bring them to the bedroom
Place baby in your bed (as before), but without the breast
Lie close to baby, stroke their back, hum or make a shushing sound
Baby will likely protest — this is normal
Hold baby close, comfort without nursing. Say calmly: "It's night time, Mama is here"
If baby becomes very upset, offer the breast briefly to calm down — but remove it before baby falls asleep

Evenings 4–7: Gradual distance

Finish nursing in another room
Place baby in crib/bedside sleeper (not your bed)
Sit beside the crib with your hand on baby
Stroke, pat gently, shush and hum
Baby may stand up — gently lay baby back down. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Stay until baby falls asleep

Many parents who have done this successfully say they placed a heavy hand on the baby's chest or back. The constant pressure provides a sense of security similar to body contact. Some call it the "heavy hand method."

Phase 3: Gradual withdrawal (days 10–18)

Now your baby is sleeping in the crib with you beside it. The next step is to gradually pull back.

Week 1 of phase 3:

Sit on a chair beside the crib (do not lie in your bed)
Hand on baby until they are calm, then just nearby
Reduce stroking gradually: constant → every few minutes → only when restless

Week 2 of phase 3:

Move the chair a little further from the crib (30–50 cm)
Use your voice more than touch: "Shh, Mama is here, goodnight"
Go back to the crib and put your hand on baby if they become restless — then pull back again when they calm down

Final step:

Chair at the door
Brief routine at the crib: hug, goodnight, lay down
Leave the room. Come back after 1–2 minutes for a calm check if baby is crying.

Phase 4: Consolidation (days 18–28)

Your baby is now sleeping in the crib and falling asleep without the breast. But nights may still be unsettled.

Night wakings:

First few weeks: Go to baby, comfort in the crib. Stroke, shush, offer a pacifier.
Do not take baby into your bed (it's tempting at 3am, but it sends mixed signals)
If baby is genuinely hungry (and you are still night nursing), nurse briefly and put back in crib while baby is still awake
The number of wakings will gradually decrease over 1–2 weeks

Expected timeline:

Nights 1–3: Most demanding. Baby protests. Completely normal.
Nights 4–7: Somewhat better. Falling asleep may take 20–40 minutes.
Nights 8–14: Much better. Falling asleep in 10–20 minutes.
After 2–3 weeks: Most babies fall asleep within 10 minutes.

What about night nursing?

You do not need to stop night nursing to move your baby to a crib. Many parents keep 1–2 night feeds while the baby still sleeps in their own space.

Recommended approach:

Keep night feeds as needed during the first weeks of the transition
Separate nursing from falling asleep: nurse, burp, put awake baby back in crib
Once baby is sleeping well in the crib (after 2–3 weeks), you can start to reduce night feeds if you want
Replace one night feed at a time with comfort (stroking, shushing) instead of nursing

Most babies over 6 months who are eating well during the day do not need night feeds for nutritional reasons, according to the AAP. But night nursing is also about comfort and closeness — and it is perfectly fine to keep it as long as it works for your family.

Tips from parents who made it work

Here are the tips that parents most often share:

"My partner took over the bedtime routine" If baby associates you with nursing, it can help for the other parent to take charge of the bedtime routine for the first few evenings. Baby does not expect the breast from the other parent and often accepts different comfort more readily.

"We started with just bedtime" Many parents recommend starting with bedtime only. Keep night nursing and co-sleeping as before, but work on getting baby to fall asleep in the crib at bedtime. Once that is established, tackle the nights.

"White noise was a game changer" A white noise machine or app can replace the sound of your breathing and heartbeat that baby is used to from co-sleeping.

"I used my t-shirt as a sheet" Place a worn t-shirt over the mattress in the crib. Your scent provides security.

"We started on a Friday night" Begin the transition on a Friday evening when no one needs to be up early for work. The first nights require patience and energy.

"The pacifier was our best friend" Babies who take pacifiers have a big advantage here. The pacifier provides the sucking motion baby misses from the breast, without you needing to be there.

Log your baby's sleep during the transition. Track falling-asleep time, wakings, and sleep length. It gives you concrete data that things are actually progressing — even on the nights when it does not feel that way.

When you want to give up (and why you should not)

There will come a night — often night 2 or 3 — when you think: "This is not working. I'm bringing the baby back to bed."

That is completely understandable. But know this:

Nights 2–3 are almost always the hardest. It is called an "extinction burst" — baby protests extra hard because they sense things are really changing.
Giving in after two hard nights teaches baby that crying long enough gets results. The next attempt will be harder.
You are not doing anything wrong. You are there for your baby. You are comforting them. You are not leaving them to cry alone.

If it truly is not working: take a break of a few days and try again. There is no shame in that.

Frequently asked questions

How long does the transition take?

Most families take 2–4 weeks from start to the baby sleeping well in the crib. Some are there within a week. Others take six weeks. The baby's temperament, age, and how strong the sleep associations are all play a role.

Does this work for babies under 6 months?

The AAP recommends room-sharing (baby in their own safe sleep space in the parents' room) from birth. But a full transition with changing sleep associations is typically recommended from 6 months, when baby is developmentally more mature. For younger babies: start by moving baby to a bedside sleeper while keeping nursing to sleep.

Do I have to stop breastfeeding to make this work?

No. You can continue breastfeeding during the day and possibly 1–2 times at night. The goal is to separate nursing from the act of falling asleep — not to stop breastfeeding.

What if my baby just cries and cries?

You should never leave your baby to cry alone. This method means you are present, comforting, and gradually pulling back. If baby is crying intensely for more than 20 minutes without calming: pick up, comfort until calm, lay back down. Repeat. It is demanding, but this is not cry-it-out.

Can my partner help even if I am still breastfeeding?

Absolutely. Your partner can take over the whole bedtime routine in the evenings (after the last nursing session). They can also handle night wakings where baby is not hungry. Many parents divide it this way: one parent nurses as needed, the other comforts at other wakings.

Sources

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) — Safe Sleep Guidelines
La Leche League International — Night Nursing
Helsenorge.no — Safe sleep for babies
World Health Organization (WHO) — Breastfeeding recommendations

From Co-Sleeping to Crib: A Step-by-Step Guide